Trying to Better Michael

 

If Michael Young hadn’t started it, there is every possibility that I wouldn’t have done it. But he did, so I followed his lead.

It all began over coffee in the cafeteria at the College of Librarianship Wales, which is on a windy hillside just outside Aberystwyth. This was in 1975, when we were both doing our postgrad diplomas and were two members of a little group of friends who had got together soon after the course started.

Michael told us that we should all listen to Radio 4 that evening at a particular time. This we did, and were astonished to hear Michael’s voice as he appeared as a contestant on the long-running quiz Brain of Britain. The recording had been made shortly before we started the course and Michael had said nothing about it until the day that his particular round was broadcast.

He scored seven points on the quiz, which was not enough to get him through to the next round, but we were all very impressed that he had at least got as far as being selected to take part. As I listened to the programme it struck me that there were several questions that Michael got wrong that I would have got right, and admittedly there were some answers that he knew but I did not. Even so, on balance I reckoned that I could have done better than he did.

The idea of applying to take part myself was one that lingered in the back of my mind for some time afterwards, but it was not until about three years later, when I was working at a college library in Bognor Regis, West Sussex, that I actually did so. I wrote to the BBC and had a reply inviting me to an audition.

This took place at Broadcasting House, or rather in one of the buildings to one side that were later demolished to make room for the modern extension to the BBC’s classic HQ. The audition took the form of a one-to-one general knowledge quiz. I was told that there was a magic pass mark that would guarantee me a place on Brain of Britain, but I was not told what this was.

Things got off to a reasonable start, such as identifying which country had a flag consisting of red, gold and green horizontal stripes with a black star at the centre. I had cause to be thankful that my family had fostered a boy from Ghana for four years during my childhood, because that was the flag in question!

It struck me that the person asking the questions was going out of her way to be helpful, without actually telling me the answers. I was asked which French department had Nice as its capital. I said I didn’t know, but she suggested that I might be able to work it out.

“OK”, I said. “Nice is close to the Alps, and it’s by the sea, so how about Alpes-Maritime?” Honestly, I just made that up on the spot, but it turned out to be the right answer! I had a funny feeling that I could not expect such generosity on the quiz itself, were I to get that far.

The next thing to happen, a week or so later, was that a letter arrived at my home in Bognor Regis to say that I had been accepted for the London and South-East first round heat, to be held at a date a month or so later. The letter included three tickets for family members, should they wish to attend.

The event took place at the BBC Radio Theatre on Haymarket. Two quizzes are recorded on the same day, so eight competitors turned up. We were given the usual BBC welcome of a cup of tea and a plate of sandwiches and the redoubtable Robert Robinson introduced himself to each of us in turn. He was very good at putting everyone at their ease and made it clear that it was the general policy that everyone’s first question was an easy one so that we were virtually guaranteed a point apiece after Round One.

My appearance was on the second quiz of the evening, so my colleagues and I had front row seats during the first quiz. The questions were the usual mixture of easy and difficult, so I had no real reason to fear what would come my way when it was our turn.

The first quiz ended, the name plates were changed, and we took our places on the stage. The music played, Robert Robinson announced our names, and we were off.

The way Brain of Britain works is that each competitor is asked up to five questions in their turn. If you get the first one right you are asked a second, and so on. Get all five correct and you are awarded an extra bonus point. When someone makes a mistake the other competitors can buzz in and hope to gain a bonus point by getting it right. I was fourth in line and was just too late to pick up bonuses when two of the others failed to answer correctly. I soon realized that it paid to buzz in as soon as you knew that an answer was wrong and not wait for Mr Robinson to say that it was.

Then it came to my turn. What would my easy first question be?

“Which European capital city is served by Kastrup Airport?”

What? That was supposed to be easy? I hadn’t a clue! I guessed at Budapest, which was wrong. I was relieved that nobody else knew either, so it wasn’t as though I was woefully ignorant about something that was common knowledge. The answer was Copenhagen – a fact that I have never forgotten since!

People say that taking part in radio or TV quizzes is much more difficult than answering them at home, due to the pressure of the situation. However, I didn’t find that to be true. I didn’t fluff any questions to which I should really have known the answer or which led me to kick myself afterwards for having known the right answer but been unable to give it at the time.

It did not go well. I was never able to get more than one correct answer in my turn and most of my points came from bonuses earned when other competitors went wrong. Just like Michael Young, I went no further in the competition, although the modest cheques that later arrived in the post were very welcome. These were for the original appearance fee, another one for the repeat broadcast and a third one courtesy of World Service.

However, there was one other thing worth celebrating. I had managed to score eight points, which was one more than Michael Young!

© John Welford