I’ll come clean at the outset – I’m not an American. I therefore expect to be shot down in flames
at having the appalling nerve to even hint at the suggestion that American
sports might not be perfect in every possible respect – indeed, I’d be
disappointed if that didn’t happen!
But the fact still remains – American sports ARE
boring! At least, when compared with
their equivalents (or near-equivalents) on my side of the Pond.
For starters, it has always struck me as odd that, at least
as far as team sports are concerned, Americans don’t care to play with anyone
else. OK – they claim to play “soccer”
up to a point, but they’re not really any good at it (apart from the women, that is), and they much prefer
their version of “football” – the one where foot and ball only rarely make any
connection. The problem here is that
hardly anyone outside America
is remotely interested in playing the same game.
Which brings me back to my original point – the rest of us
don’t play American football because we find the other codes much more exciting
to play and to watch. There was a match
played in London
a few months ago between two professional American teams. I watched the highlights on television, and
it seemed to me that the closest we get to it over here is Rugby League – the
version of the running-ball game played mostly in the north of England (and in
Australia, New Zealand and South Africa). This is where a tackled player retains the ball and is allowed to pass
it back, unimpeded, to a team-mate, unlike in Union rules where the ball must
be released.
In both codes of rugby there is plenty of scope for free
running, passing and skilful ball play and tackling. But in the American game I watched, the same
thing seemed to be happening over and over again – a second or two of action
followed by everything coming to a grinding halt. We even had the absurd spectacle of a couple
of officials running on to the field with a tape measure to check whether the
ball had really travelled ten yards! And
when the ball was lost to the other side, everyone trooped off the field and
another lot of players came on!
But it’s not just on the football field that the boredom
factor is so much to the fore. For one
thing, American sports watchers don’t seem to be able to concentrate for more
than five minutes at a time, so they don’t protest at the constant
interruptions in play for team talks, be it in basketball, ice hockey or
whatever. In what sense is all this
actually interesting?
Moving to Summer, we can compare baseball with cricket, both
of which involve a man (let’s not be too sexist here, women play as well!) with
a bat hitting a ball that has been propelled in his (or her) direction. But at this point the comparison falls down,
because in baseball you only seem to have one aim in mind, which is to hit the
thing as far and as high as you can, and nine times out of ten the attempt ends
in failure. The cricket batsman has a
huge variety of strokes he can play, depending on the type of delivery he is
facing - fast, slow, straight, swinging, pitched long or short, reaching him at
ground level or head high, etc – and on how he is standing to receive the ball,
where the fielders are placed, whether the state of the game requires attack or
defence, and a whole lot more. Baseball
players can be dismissed in only three ways it seems – failing to hit the ball,
being run out, and being caught out. Cricket offers five common methods and a number of rarer ones, which
makes for much more variety. There’s a
whole lot more to be said that proves my point, but that should be enough to be
going on with for now!
Then take the American versions of horse and motor
racing. In Europe and elsewhere, races
take place on a huge variety of courses, with twists and turns in all
directions, hills up and hills down, requiring the riders and drivers to
exercise considerable skill in getting the best out their mounts and vehicles. But in America ? Round and round they go, always turning in
the same direction, never varying from one course to another. Where on earth is the fun in watching that?
Moving indoors, look at the infinite subtleties of snooker
when seen alongside the wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am of pool! Snooker is a marvellous game, with its
contrast between break-building and safety play, the clever ways in which
players can get their opponents into trouble or escape from it, and the drama
of a player very occasionally being able to pot fifteen reds, fifteen blacks
and all the colours to achieve the ultimate 147 break. And what has pool got to offer in
exchange? A bash into the pack, a bit of
luck as to which ball gets potted first, a short break of eight balls maximum,
and it’s all over. Little variety, hardly any subtlety, and all finished in
five minutes or less!
I honestly believe that most watchers of sport in America think
that they are getting a good deal, but I also think they’re being
short-changed. Try watching some
trans-Atlantic sport some time – you’d be amazed at how much better it is. We don’t need cheerleaders to keep you
interested – what happens on the pitch or the track is quite enough to keep you
on the edges of your seats!
© John Welford
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